Do you let fear of rejection make your decisions for you? Part One

I took off the month of November from blogging to focus on my fiction writing. Fiction wasn't the only distraction in November. Actually, since last year, I became a news junkie all the way through November 8th as I spent much of my time following election coverage. Even now I have to limit my time listening to the radio or watching coverage of cabinet appointments and media bias and everything else threatening to drive me out of my tree. It's finally over, and I need to get back to my life.

When I first started thinking about another blog I needed to figure out what I had to offer the world. I totally believe we all have something to offer. Some of us are encouraging or inspiring or clever or organized or great with finances or excellent chefs, and we have lots of things we can teach someone else. Many of us do not have something that clear cut. I doubt anyone reading this blog is ever going to run for president. It isn't likely we'll cure cancer or perform any other medical breakthrough to benefit mankind. Regardless, we all have things to offer. Any of us can offer a smile or a kind word or a gentle touch.

Even with my first post to Ready, Set, Go! I was bombarded by doubts on all sides that I didn't have anything to offer. Give it a try sometime. Believe for a moment you are halfway decent at something and you can teach someone else how to do that thing. Then sit back and wait for the doubts and negativity to come.

They won't just come from your inner critic. Put it out there that you want to coach Little League or write a book about the history of your state or teach people to save money or live on a budget or house train puppies. You will realize pretty quickly there are thousands already out there doing what you think you're good at, and doing it a heck of a lot better than you ever could. And if you don't realize it on your own, somebody will tell you quick, fast, and in a hurry.

I want to encourage you to ignore the critics--real or imagined. You have something to offer. Maybe you're not the best money manager with a book for sale online. Maybe Warren Buffett does not turn to you for investing advice. Maybe you haven't made any medical breakthroughs or taught someone in a third world country to read. None of that matters. You still have something to offer. We mustn't let our fears & doubts define who we are.

I have a friend who has a chance at a big promotion at work. She's been talking about moving up in her field for about two years. The promotion would force her to step out of her comfort zone. She will need additional training. She will have to deal with responsibilities she currently passes off to her boss. What if she takes the new position and she doesn't like it as much as what she's doing now? What if she can't survive the training? What if she fails? Legitimate concerns to be sure. But she was designed for this job. It is truly a calling. What if she doesn't fail? What if she is a huge success and the new position brings her a lifetime of fulfillment and contentment?

My concern for my friend is that she is allowing fear to make this tough decision for her. What a sad way to make a life decision. Or rather, avoid making a decision. That's how many of us handle doubts and rejections. We push them aside and until the opportunity passes. If she truly doesn't want the position because it isn't right for her, or she doesn't want a full time workweek, or she doesn't want to deal with the commute, then that's fine. It's her life. Of course, we must weigh all our options and how they may change our lives. But we can't let fear of failure make those decisions for us.

What decision are you facing now that you are allowing fear or doubts influence? It may have nothing to do with work or a dormant dream. It may be something with a loved one. Or a relocation. Whatever it is--however you feel compelled to step out of your comfort zone--ignore the naysayers and do what you are called to do.

Don't give up just coz the going got tough

I took off from posting to Ready, Set, Go! during November because of National Novel Writing Month or NaNoWriMo. In case you don't know what that is, it's an annual challenge for writers to produce 50,000 words, which is typically the first, very rough draft of a novel. By the end of November, it's pretty messy and all over the place, at least in my case. But hopefully the writer ends up with a usable draft of the novel that's been playing around in our minds for, sometimes, years. To reach my challenge, I need to have a really great writing day today on the very last day--5101 words to be exact. Yikes! I need to get started.

In the meantime I copied this letter sent to my NaNo inbox from New York Times Bestselling author Jenny Han. In her letter, Jenny may write about the dark days of finishing a novel when you're thinking; "What's the point?" but her advice can be applied to any project you're working on and wondering if you should keep slogging away when it doesn't look like anyone else in the world gives a flip.

From Jenny:
Dear my fellow writer,

I have been tasked with writing you an encouraging note at your darkest hour in this NaNoWriMo journey. Little did I know that I too would be at the don't-give-up part of my own book journey! (Actually, I did know, because I have always known that my book would be due in December. But still, when you are writing a book, it very often feels like the darkest hour. And we all know that deadlines always feel far away when you first agree to them, am I right??)

You’re in the hard part now. You feel like giving up. I get it. I’m slogging along right there with you. The very same questions keep me up at night—can I really pull this off? Will I make it in time? Why did I ever agree to this?!?!

This is my eleventh book, and while I do take comfort in knowing that I’ve done it ten times before, it’s a very small and meager comfort, because the truth is, each book is different, each process is different. Writing a book is not like baking a cake—though how I wish it were! When you write a book, you don't just insert ingredients and out comes a beautiful cake. (I mean book.) Also, you are obviously not a cake-baking machine. You are a person, you’ve got your own responsibilities and everyday things you have to do, like make dinner and watch Netflix and I don't know, go to work.

But you’re a writer too. If you weren’t, you wouldn't have taken on this challenge—which, by the way, is a pretty big deal. I’ve always thought about joining in, but I’ve never done it, and neither have most people. But you’re not most people! You are you, on this NaNoWriMo journey, and whatever else happens, you will write this book.

Please believe me when I say that this is the hardest part. I truly believe that if you can make it through the middle, you can make it to the end. And when the night is long, know that I am right there with you, feeling my way through the darkness, wishing I could give up. However, there is the small matter of the contract I signed with my publisher…but you signed a contract with yourself! Keeping promises to yourself is its own thing, with its own rewards.

You owe this book to you. I believe in you, fellow writer. I believe in us.

Love,
Jenny

Jenny Han is the New York Times bestselling author of To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before and the sequel P.S. I Still Love You.

Are you close to reaching your 2016 goals?

Last year, like most years, I bought a daily planner/journal. This particular one from Bloom Planners asks the question: How will you bloom this year? There is space below to record a mission statement for my ideal year. I never took the time to do it, by the way, which is a shame considering I’m a writer. All through the planner are inspirational quotes and end-of-month reflections. Again, a feature I seldom utilized.

Tomorrow begins National Novel Writing Month—an annual writing challenge that challenges participants to write a novel in a month. Or 50,000 words, a pretty good chunk of a first draft of a novel. I’ve committed to the challenge and am getting a little nervous as October winds down.

Thinking about this last day of the tenth month of the year and how once November begins—even without a novel writing challenge—it seems like barely a chance to exhale before the year is over. Just like you, I have 61 days remaining in 2016 to complete goals or reach milestones I dreamed of when I first opened my new day planner during the dwindling days of 2015.

Back then, I had big dreams for my writing & my personal life. I was going to redesign my website. I had several writing projects I needed to see to the THE END. I was going to create a newsletter and focus on building my readership so I would have someone to send it to. I wanted to lose fifteen pounds. I was going to create a new blog and consistently post to it.

Some of the goals I reached. I redesigned my website. I finished a few writing projects and started a few more. I created a newsletter but haven’t sent out the first one. I lost most of the fifteen pounds and then gained a lot of it back. If you’re reading this you know I’ve been fairly consistent with the blog.

The next two months are going to fly by. Hopefully at the end of the year I can look back at the entries in my 2016 planner and see I reached some goals, surpassed others, and learned a thing or two. At least that's the plan. How about you?
What was your most memorable moment of 2016?
A goal you reached?
A new thing you tried?
The most important thing you learned?
The best book you read?
Something you want to try again?

It isn’t too late. There are 61 days remaining in 2016. Let’s make the most of each one.

As always, friend me on FaceBook
Or follow me on Twitter
Sign up for my newsletter at to stay up to date with new releases, promos, & giveaways.

Are you a Spender or a Saver?

My parents approached spending from opposite ends of the financial spectrum. They held completely conflicting opinions on how to teach their four daughters to handle money. My sisters and I were paid a tiny allowance every week. Mom believed we should get the whole amount and be able to spend it any way we wanted. She believed it would teach us to accept the responsibilities of either having or not having. Dad believed we should be forced to put every dime into the bank so we would learn to be savers.

The odd thing here is that Dad was a spender by nature. He was much freer with money than Mom. Mom was a natural tightwad. She was raised poor and never learned to enjoy money or how to be generous with it. They both agree with the concept of saving. They both believe in saving for a rainy day. But they had polar opposite ideas of how to teach us how to do it. I can’t remember which parent got their way the most often. There were times we were allowed to go to the store and spend our allowance however we wanted. There were other times Dad insisted we put our money straight into the bank. He encouraged us to save from an early age by setting up individual bank accounts with our own passbooks and trying to explain the concept of compound interest and how banks served a purpose by using the money I gave them to lend to others. Imagine trying to wrap your eight-year-old brain around that.

I mentioned there were four of us girls. Two of us grew up to be savers. The other two are spenders. I still don’t know how much of Mom and Dad’s conflicting views on money influenced us to develop the way we did. Or were we predetermined to become savers or spenders?

There are positives and negatives on both sides of the personality coin. A saver isn’t as often taken by surprise by an unexpected need. Yet they struggle with a tendency toward stinginess. I struggled with this much of my life. The Bible says: The love of money is the root of all evil.” I believe both savers and spenders can battle this. When a saver becomes stingy with money the way I did, we become hesitant to loosen our grasp on a dollar lest we never get another one. A spender can love the experiences and possessions money provides & continually strive for more, often at the detriment of their own peace and relationships.

The Lord has helped me get past the stingy side of my character. As he is gracious and generous with me, I have learned to be generous with the blessings he’s given me. I strive to live generously and graciously, giving grace as it was given to me. I’ve also seen and experienced the stress and fear caused by not saving for an emergency or future necessity. We’ve all been in situations where we needed money, but there was absolutely none & no way to get it in time to meet our needs.

I still don’t know if I was influenced to become a saver or if I would’ve turned out this way, regardless of my upbringing. I don’t know if one of my spender sisters would’ve been better or worse off if Mom and Dad had been able to agree on the way they taught us how to deal with money. I tried to strike a happy medium when teaching my son about money. He’s grown now with a home of his own and he never asks me for money. Maybe I influenced him, or maybe he's afraid to ask for it.

What about you? Are you a saver or a spender? What lessons did your parents teach you about money, and which ones are you passing onto your children? And if you ever figure out which of my parents influenced me more with their conflicting ideals and contrasts in handling money, please let me know.

As always, friend me on FaceBook
Or follow me on Twitter
Sign up for my newsletter to stay up to date with new releases, promos, & giveaways.

Saving money today allows you to live more freely tomorrow.

Today I had planned to post about how to create a budget, but when I googled the topic, I found all sorts of resources for creating a budget on nearly any kind of program. Instead of taking up space here, you can check out some resources on the HOW of creating a budget on Google, depending on your favored software. FYI, I prefer the old notebook & paper. I still find comfort in the feel of a tangible book in my hands and the act of writing stuff down. I think I’m the only remaining dinosaur in my church who takes notes in a journal during Sunday morning service. Let me utilize this space on the WHY of creating a budget and the peace you’ll create in your life once you are controlling your money rather than your money controlling you.

I probably don’t need to mention this, but I’m going to anyway. Here’s a shock for you. Brace yourself. Are you ready? Americans don’t save enough money. According to a New York Times Business article, the typical working family nearing retirement has less than $105,000 in retirement savings. Not nearly enough considering at least one of that couple has a 50% chance of living into their nineties. But I digress. Retirement isn’t the point of this post. That’s a whole other topic. For now we’re going to discuss the importance of a family budget, regardless of where you are in your financial journey.

It’s a well known fact, American save less than any other developed country. According to a CNBC poll from last year, 62% of Americans can’t cover an unexpected expense, like a car accident, dental surgery, or when the refrigerator dies unexpectedly. Experts recommend having six months of living expenses in a rainy day fund for situations like layoffs or health emergencies. For most of us, that’s practically out of the question. We don’t have a month’s worth of living expenses saved, or even one week. How can we have peace in our finances when an emergency could wipe out your checking account while you still have monthly bills to pay?

You may be wondering how in the world you can save six months of expenses when you barely have enough in the bank to pay this week’s bills, let alone plan for an emergency.

It isn’t easy to save six months of expenses, but it can be done. First of all, don’t tell yourself, “I’m going to save six months worth of expenses.” It’s too big of a goal. It can be your yearly goal, but don’t focus on it right away. You’ll get discouraged by the time you reach the end of this article and stop reading. You’ll tell yourself, “That woman’s crazy. It’s an impossible feat so why bother trying.” Instead, focus on saving one week’s expenses. In 2016 I became a runner. One of the very first articles I read was about how to run up a hill. The article suggested you not look to the top of the hill while you're running. It’s too daunting. You look up and think, “I’ll never make it. It’s too steep. It’s too far.” Whatever. While climbing the hill, look at the ground directly in front of you. Not only will it prevent you from tripping over a tree root or a break in the pavement and smashing your face, you can see where you’re going without becoming overwhelmed by the distance yet to climb.

Remember, we’re not talking about saving one week’s income. Just a week’s expenses. That’s where a budget comes in. You can’t save your expenses when you don’t know how much they are.

Dave Ramsey, author of The Total Money Makeover, always says, "Live like no one else now, so you can live like no one else later." A little sacrifice and doing without today will pay off big in the long run.

You may have heard this old adage: Use it up. Wear it out. Make it do or do without.

Many of us are terrible about wasting things or replacing something before it needs replaced. Think of those stainless steel appliances that replaced the old white ones just because they were no longer in style. Many times, by the time you pay off the latest trendy gadget, it’s no longer in style either. After you create your budget, you may realize you can’t go out with friends every time they ask. You may have to forego your Caribbean vacation or the kitchen remodel for a few years, or dinners out, or movies on the big release weekend. You may need to reevaluate your cell phone plans. You may discover you can save money on your health insurance. (That one isn’t likely.) What about the cable bill or new clothes? You can save a small fortune by shopping for clothes & shoes at thrift stores. Especially for kids who outgrow everything long before they wear it out.

This probably wasn’t a fun post to read. No one wants to hear about deprivation. But doing simple things like saying no to a movie out or buying new Easter baskets when you can dig the old ones out of the toy box is better than being blindsided by a simple thing like a root canal that derails your Christmas budget.

I hope this post has encouraged you a little to start thinking of ways you can squeeze savings out of your budget. Little changes done over time will help you reach your goals of saving that week’s worth of expenses much faster. It won’t be long until saving 6 months’ worth will be well within reach.

Friend me on FaceBook https://www.facebook.com/authorteresaslack
Or follow me on Twitter https://twitter.com/teresaslack
Sign up for my author newsletter to stay up to date with new releases, promos, & giveaways.

Plan now for a stress-free, debt-free holiday season--Part 2

The number one cause of stress around the holiday season is money. How can we afford all the gifts the kids want? Airfares are up so we can't afford to get where everyone else is. Christmas bonuses have been cut so where will the extra money come from for all those added expenses? The oven chose the worse possible time to go out.

Have you ever heard when it rains, it pours?

It seems like this time of year is when everything that can possibly go wrong, does. The key to avoiding those issues, or hopefully not stressing over them when they do arise, is pre-planning. It’s not too late.

If you haven’t already, now is the time to create a budget for your holiday spending. Christmas isn’t the only holiday threatening to derail our budget. According to Bloomberg.com this Halloween Americans will spend $2 Billion on candy alone for neighborhood trick-or-treaters. Another $2.6 Billion will go for costumes, and that doesn’t count the costumes 14% of us will buy for our pets.

If we stay on par with last years stats, the average American household with spend a little over $50 for Thanksgiving dinner. (Whoever took those polls obviously hasn't been to a Hooley Thanksgiving. We spend way more than that.) The good news there is at least you’ll be eating leftovers for four days. Or maybe that’s the bad news.

Regardless of how much you spend or how you plan to cut back this year and ask your guests to contribute, the key to avoiding stress is planning ahead. Just like the cable bill and the electric bill, the holidays are coming, whether we’re ready or not. We know there will be gifts to buy, possibly plane tickets, gift wrap and mountains of food. Why do we wait until the last minute to start freaking out about how we're going to afford it all?

You might be getting stressed just by reading this post. I don’t mean to do that at all. My goal is to lessen your stress, not add to it. How do we do that? By making lists. You may not be a list maker, but this is the best time to start.

You don’t have to do this alone. Enlist the help of your family. Kids of almost any age get excited over preparations for the holidays. No matter how young or old, they can understand the concept of money and budgets. Let them help in listing all the people on your gift list. Then brainstorm about the best gift for each person, including how much each gift will cost. Kids love a challenge, and they’re usually more astute than we give them credit. This will even work for creating their own wish lists.

I didn’t spoil my son while he was growing up. Consequently, at holiday time, I wanted to go all out. I didn’t buy him extra gifts because my friends were doing it for their children, or I didn’t want him to feel deprived, or I didn't want to look like a terrible mother. I bought him as much as I could because I wanted to. Right or wrong, I wanted to see his face light up over something he truly wanted.

I'm the last person to tell you not to spoil them a little. But you don’t have to blow up the household budget to do so. Find out the most important gift for each person you’re shopping for. Then you can fill in with a few lesser gifts if you want. Most children in America also get a mountain of gifts from grandparents, aunts, uncles, and so on. At my niece’s third birthday party last month, she had so many gifts to unwrap she finally got bored and walked away. The other kids in attendance unwrapped the rest of the presents for her. I know it’s tempting, especially when they’re little and adorable and squeal over everything you give them, but don’t feel like you need to overdo it. For one, you’re setting a bad precedence for down the road. And two, they usually appreciate and enjoy the gifts more if they can keep track of them. Let them know ahead of time what to expect by involving them in the process. They’ll appreciate spending the time with you and feeling important, and that might turn out to be what they remember most about the holidays.

If you haven’t started shopping yet, do so now. There are lots of items you can pre-buy for holiday dinners even if you don't have a menu set in stone. Most gifts are non-perishable. Buy one a week. Christmas stamps are already available at your post office if you’re mailing out cards. Do as much as you can a little at a time, so as the time draws near, you’ll already have many of those little chores and errands squared away.

Next post, we’ll talk more about creating a household budget so things like holidays or unexpected expenses don’t take us by surprise.

Plan now for a stress-free, debt-free holiday season

It’s that time of year again. The time of year we start stressing over how we’re going to afford Christmas. Displays are already appearing in many stores. Some of us more organized souls have already begun shopping, or at least making lists of what to buy and how to find the money in an already stretched household budget. With the holidays right around the corner and a weak economy depriving many of us of pay increases in over a decade, we don’t know how we can do it.

This time of year—maybe more than any other—we consider making a budget and sticking to it, or even better, getting completely out of debt. Since that’s what I’ve been thinking about, I figured now was a great time to start a series on managing our money and how to avoid a holiday season strapped with additional debt.

It is possible to survive the holidays without debt and without deprivation. With a little planning and open dialog with our loved ones about what they expect or hope for, we can head off the debt monster before it sinks its teeth into our holiday. Most of us women put unrealistic expectations on ourselves. We have a picture in our heads of the perfect holiday, and when things don't measure up, we feel guilty. We think we let everyone down and we take it out on ourselves. Our solution is to spend more money so that no one could possibly be disappointed.

We believe it's our job to make everything perfect for everyone else. We want the kids to get every gift they ask for. We want the dinner to turn out perfectly, complete with a golden brown turkey, juicy ham, gravy of just the right consistency and color, and the right number of sides and desserts. We want the in-laws to be happy with their guest room accommodations. If the least little thing goes wrong, like the dog throws up on the living room rug, we’re convinced it's our fault, and Christmas is ruined.

Hogwash. The first step in creating a stress-free, debt-free Christmas is to let ourselves off the hook. You’re not responsible for making sure everyone else in the family has a wonderful holiday season. So much of it is outside your control anyway, so stop sweating it.

If everything doesn't go exactly as planned—if we don't have the new designer place settings we hoped to buy last year during the end-of-season-sale, if the linen napkins got lost over the course of the year, if the poinsettias aren’t in full bloom on Christmas Day—it’s not our fault.

For some reason, we gladly heap this stress upon ourselves, and it needs to stop. We are not responsible for fulfilling everyone else's expectation of a perfect holiday. If the turkey gets too dark or the stuffing comes out dry or the pumpkin pies have too much clove, we haven’t ruined Christmas. We haven’t created a nightmare memory from which our children will never recover.

Nobody remembers that stuff anyway. Think back to some of your own Christmas memories. Do you remember the year there were no mandarin oranges in the fruit salad because Mom forgot to buy them? What about the year the souffle fell or when the icing slid off the cake or when the spiral ham fell apart in the oven and filled the kitchen with smoke? Of course not. The memories we carry from year to year are about being with those we love and having a good time together. That's what's important. It should be the only thing that is. If it isn't, well, shame on us and shame on those who put such high expectations upon us.

This year you have my permission not to blame yourself if the turkey is dry or you forget to buy Cool Whip for the pies. Call me and I’ll pick some up on my way over.

In my next post I’ll get deeper into some steps to take to enjoy a debt-free, stress-free holiday season. For now, just realize you are not the Perfect Christmas Creator of the Universe. This is going to be a stress-free holiday season. Starting now, smile, relax, and accept that things will go wrong. Not everything will work out exactly the way you want. The only thing you can control is the way you react. We've already decided this year you’re not going to let those things stress you out.

The Story Behind the Story of Love Begins

Whether parents can no longer provide a safe home or need temporary assistance or children have been removed by the state, thousands of children in America are living in foster care. When I wrote A Tender Reed, the precursor to the Tender Blessings series, in 2005 I only knew one family involved in foster care. Since then I’ve met dozens. Several families in my church have started fostering kids over the last decade. Even people in my own family have taken on the role of raising the children of nieces, nephews, cousins, or grandchildren.

About Love Begins, the first book in the Tender Blessings Series:

"If I wasn't such a good Christian, you'd be in an orphanage somewhere, young lady."

Abandoned by their parents, Michelle Hurley and her kid sister Nicole are reminded every day their livelihood depends on a grandmother who never wanted them. Nearly twenty years later, Michelle has accepted the fact she isn't worthy of the love she so desperately needed as a child.

Her comfortable, albeit lonely, existence comes crashing down around her the morning Nicole abandons her two young children under Michelle's lilac bushes. Michelle doesn't want to be responsible for fixing Nicole's mistakes. Again. Nor does she want to admit she may be just like the grandmother she can't forgive.

When as old boyfriend re-enters her life, Michelle is reminded nothing has worked out the way she hoped it would. Kyle Swann also makes her realize shutting her heart against the world could be the worst mistake she ever made.

This thought-provoking contemporary romance examines the changing dynamics of family relationships and issues. Infused with honesty and humor, it will capture the hearts of readers who love children, understand their challenges and appreciate the many definitions of family.

The Tender Blessings Series was originally published as a trade paperback entitled A Tender Reed. The story was a huge success with readers and reviewers alike, but they wanted more. I received emails, calls, and questions at events asking when they could expect Book Two. Readers also let me know they wanted more romance. Don't we all!

I went to work enlarging the story and spending more time on Michelle's lackluster love life. It didn't take long to realize there were two books here—hence the Tender Blessings series.

The biggest compliment you could ever pay a writer is by posting an honest review for her book. Grab your FREE copy of Love Begins by Tuesday, Oct. 4 at midnight EST and consider placing a review on Amazon. Then get the sequel A Little Goodbye.

What do you have to offer the world, or just one person?

Most of us don’t really think of ourselves as an expert in any certain field. We haven’t discovered anything or cured anything. We haven’t built a business that employs millions or solved any great problem facing humankind. We downplay our abilities since they’re not that impressive. After all, almost anyone can balance a checkbook or raise kids or even write a blog post. We keep our heads down and try not to sound like we’re bragging in our abilities.

Recently I was asked to speak at a writers’ conference. It's been a long time since I've talked about writing. To be honest, it's been a long time since I've written much since I haven’t posted on this blog in two weeks. I like to think I have something to offer writers. I’ve been doing it a while and have met with some success with my published novels. But an expert…I don't know if I want to go that far.

I almost didn't accept the invitation. I worried I might not have anything to offer they didn’t already know. Actually I was afraid. Afraid of looking dumb in front of seasoned writers. Afraid I’d fall on my face. Afraid I’d say something stupid. Afraid everyone would see me as the fraud I thought I was.

Aren't those stupid reasons for not doing something you love?

We all have something to offer someone else. No matter your interests or abilities or experience or natural talent, you have something to offer that can benefit or impact someone else. Don't let fear or the thought that you're a phony or not as good as you think you are keep you from doing what you enjoy and from being a being a blessing to others. We tell ourselves we’re not that funny or talented or experienced. Consequently, we do nothing. Who suffers when we make that choice?

Not only do we hurt ourselves by not stretching our wings and doing what we enjoy, we hurt those we don’t help. Vanity is sometimes disguised as fear. The fear we experience when doing something outside our comfort zone is vanity. We don’t want to risk looking like a dummy when we attempt something we might fail. None of us want to fall on our face in front of witnesses.

No matter how minimal you believe your talents, someone can benefit from learning them. Even if you think everyone knows how to bake a chocolate chip cookie or housebreak a puppy or sew on a button, you will come across someone who needs your advice on the subject. I am sure there are plenty of bigger things in which you have experience.

What are you good at? What are your interests or natural talents? What have you been doing well most of your life? Parenting. Baking. Organization. Writing. Graphic design. Woodworking. Money management. Animal training. Crafts. Mechanics. Health and beauty. There is at least one area in which you could help someone else. Probably many, but for the sake of this article, let’s focus on one. Name one thing you could teach someone else. If you share your knowledge & experience with one person, you have possibly enriched them…and yourself.

Stop Avoiding what You Want Most

Time is a commodity we all think we don't have enough of. However, we have the same amount as everyone else. I know authors with forty, fifty, a hundred, or even two hundred books on the market and I still have only a handful. In what areas am I failing while they are wildly successful?

Yes, I have a full-time job. Yes, I’m working to build a Scentsy business as well as carve out time to write. Yes, I have a family. But doesn't everyone? We all have obligations. We all have lives and people we want to spend time with. Somehow, though, successful writers manage to accomplish scads more in the same 24 hours a day than I accomplish. What am I doing wrong that I can't find time to work on my books? I can't find time to edit and polish and format and market and network and stay abreast of trends and techniques in the industry that other authors are utilizing to create their books.

Apparently they’ve learned something I still struggle with. These people know how to utilize every moment while I fritter away my day. I legitimize much of what eats up my time because it’s stuff that must be done; like walking the dog and washing dishes and scrubbing the inside of the refrigerator (okay, I don’t do that one very often) and sweeping the floors and running errands and folding laundry. Productive people do the same things. They have dogs to walk and litter boxes to clean out and breakfast to cook and kids to get on the bus. They do these things and still achieve their goals. Where am I missing it?

That's the question, isn't it? That's what each of us has to figure out if we want to accomplish anything. For me, the key is deciding how important my goals are. If something is important, I will give it priority. If I have a doctor’s appointment at 1:45, I give that appointment priority and won’t let anything keep me from getting there on time. If I have a conference call at 9:15, I set an alarm and leave a post-it note on the bathroom mirror to make sure I'm on the line at the designated time.

Often, the things we say we want to do are hard or scary or uncomfortable, so we let other things take precedence. We put them off until we barely even think about them anymore. Recently I read this quote.

“In any area of your life that you want to change, adopt this rule. Just do the things that you don’t want to do.”
― Mel Robbins, Stop Saying You're Fine: Discover a More Powerful You

If I want to lose weight, I need to say no to the cheesecake. Of course I don’t want to. I love cheesecake. But I should love to fit into the new dress for my reunion more. I might want a beautiful landscaped front yard, but I keep putting off the work. If I want a beautiful front yard badly enough, I will do the thing I don’t want to do, which is getting down on my hands and knees and moving dirt.

What area in your life do you want to change? Now, what is the thing you need to do to change it, even though you don’t want to? You owe it to yourself to do it anyway. You may find passing on the cheesecake wasn’t that hard, especially when you see the changes in your body. You may find the beautiful yard was worth the sacrifice of getting your hands dirty.

Figure out what you want to change in your life, and then pinpoint what you’re putting off doing. My challenge for you this week is to do that thing anyway, no matter how much you dread it. Just once. Then stick with it, and each subsequent time will get easier. And probably more rewarding. Few things worth having come easy, and easy things seldom get us what we want most.

Beauty in a Tadpole

The best thing about working in southern Ohio near the West Virginia border is getting there. When I first got the job, I spent the nearly two-hour long drive staring out the window at the rugged hills, green pastures and tree-lined ridges overlooking the Ohio River. Winter revealed a whole new world out my window as rocky outcroppings, cliffs, and endless valleys, that had been hidden when the leaves were full, came into view. That was four years ago.

I still take the same route to the jagged southeastern tip of Ohio just before you cross over into West Virginia. The trees and cliffs and valleys carved by a relentless river are still there. Suddenly, though, I realized I was no longer as amazed by the splendor laid out for my pleasure as I had been when I first started working there. Instead of noticing the beauty and glorious creation around me, I focused on the work ahead of me.

What a shame. When did I get too busy to notice I was in the middle of God’s wondrous creation? Regardless of where any of us are today, there is beauty & wonder all around us. Sometimes we might have to take a moment to find it. But it shouldn’t take long. My grandson just called me outside to see the tadpole he caught. He’s been gathering them out of my rain barrel all day, and he found an amazing specimen with front and back legs and a translucent tail. Even toes. In the history of little boys, I doubt a finer tadpole has ever been scooped out of a rain barrel.

May I always view Creation with the same bright eyes & childlike wonder. The earth is God’s to do with what He will, yet He chose to let us enjoy it and marvel in it for the brief span of time we’re here. Whether it’s a child’s laugh or a blue heron lifting off the water, or a hummingbird making quick work at my feeder, or even a tadpole about to lose his tail, may we never get too bored or distracted or busy to recognize the beauty of the world we live in. A world whose wonders will never cease to be revealed as long as we take the time to notice and be appreciative.

May we never be too busy to hear: “In the rustling grass I hear him pass. He speaks to me everywhere.” This is My Father’s World by Maltbie D. Babcock


When is the last time you've marveled at creation? What glorious wonder took your breath away and reminded you God sees you and loves you and delights in the things you delight in?

Build Your Email List Before You Think You Need It.

I started the Ready Set Go! blog to encourage and inspire people to go after their dreams and live a passionate, purposeful life. It’s not a writing blog even though I’m a writer. That said, according to every marketing guru, if you want to build a business, brand, or marketing venture you must concentrate on building an email list, even before you think you need it. A successful list is the only way to let customers or clients know when you have a new product or service to offer.

You’re probably thinking; What if I don’t have a product or service on my horizon? What do I mail my list? I don’t want to annoy potential clients. How do I engage and entertain without alienating them?

I found the answer in an article by Tim Grahl; What Do I Send to my Email List? By providing my email, I also accessed a wealth of resources about nearly any other topic a writer can use. Since I’m currently revamping my website—take a hop over there if you dare, to see how desperately mine needs an overhaul—I clicked on another training about what writer’s should include on a website. Very helpful trainings available, which I look forward to perusing after I create my bigger and better website of course.

Did you look at my current one? Isn't it hideous? With social media like Facebook and Twitter making writers so easily accessible do you even check out websites anymore? Do you buy from websites or go directly to Amazon?

Cajun Navy 2016

I first heard of the Cajun Navy last week on Sean Hannity's radio program. Media outlets were ignoring the situation in Louisiana. The President was too busy doing who knows what to go down. Rescuers were busy helping others so a group of people got out in their own boats to help out their neighbors, friends, and even strangers.

Now lawmakers want to implement regulations & fees on the Cajun Navy & other like-minded Good Samaritans before they're free to help out in future disasters. Bigger government. Yes, that's the answer to all America's problems. Good grief.

Please check out & LIKE Cajun Navy 2016 & share some of their videos. Neighbors helping neighbors in time of disaster. Don't forget to offer your prayers as well.

Misplaced Anger--Whose Fault is it Anyway?

Have you ever noticed how people get really angry when they make a mistake? They get mad and defensive that they’ve messed up and often take it out on the first poor slob they see.

This happened to me recently. Someone had spent too much money on car maintenance. The situation did not involve me at all. I didn’t recommend the mechanic. It wasn’t my car. I wasn’t responsible for paying the bill. The whole matter was none of my business. Yet while discussing what happened, the person ended up getting mad all over again and yelling at me.

I didn’t get offended. I knew he was mad at himself—and maybe the mechanic—not me. But it made me wonder why we behave this way when we mess up. Especially when the matter involves losing money or losing face or getting hurt.

I’m a writer so I think about these things. I like to understand why people behave the way they do. If you’re going to tell me a story, I want more than just the Who, What, Where, & How. To me, the most important consideration is the Why.

I guess the most obvious explanation about why people get mad--furious even--at others when they mess up is it’s easier to get angry at the person who saw us fall on our face than it is to blame ourselves for not watching where we were going.

Occurrences of domestic violence often happen when the violator has a bad day at work or some similar experience. Maybe he made a mistake and got yelled at by the boss. He sure can’t yell back so he goes home and takes his frustration out on the weakest target in his path. Most of us can't relate to that situation. But we have seen someone stub a toe on a chair and then kick the chair. Maybe you were the one doing the kicking. I’m sorry to say I’ve kicked plenty of chairs in my day.

Why? Probably the most plain and simple explanation is mistakes make us feel bad. We feel stupid when we make a financial decision that ends up costing us money. We feel clumsy or awkward when we trip over own feet. We feel inferior when we realize we missed a payment and now we’re going to get hit with a thirty-five dollar late fee. The only thing worse than making a mistake is for someone else to witness it. Whether it’s anger or embarrassment at getting caught, no one wants to look bad. So we get mad at the one who caught us rather than laughing it off and realizing everyone messes up sometimes. Everyone looks dumb or clumsy or silly or like a jerk now and then.

That’s life. Years ago, I heard a song or something that basically said: Never the windshield, always the bug.

My last post was about choosing to live a drama-free life. As I wrote in that post, there is so much in life beyond our control. We’re going to mess up and there will probably be someone around to see it. Instead of getting mad at the witness to our humiliation—or getting mad at ourselves for being human—we need to get up, shake it off, and move on. Learn what we can from the experience and try not to repeat our mistakes.

How we react to nearly anything is one of the few things in life within our control. It’s a choice we make every day. Now, I need to choose to get to work on my novel or in the next post I’ll be complaining about how I never complete any of the tasks on my to-do list.

In the meantime, leave a comment about the last time someone got mad at you over a mistake they made. Or better yet, the last time you were the one kicking the chair after stubbing your toe.

Happy Monday!

We Do Drama--Choosing to live Drama free

What makes for good TV does not make for a good life.

Living a drama free life generally begins with us. I know what you’re thinking. “Easy for you to say. You don’t know the garbage I put up with every day.”

You’re right. I don’t. I just know the garbage I put up with. And most of our garbage isn’t that different from the next person’s. I’ll bet someone you know and love is battling a terminal illness. Someone lies to get what she wants. Someone else isn’t a good parent. Someone just lost his job. Or should lose his job because he’s a terrible employee you can’t depend on. Someone in the family steals from your house every time they know you're out of town. Someone doesn’t respect his parents and takes advantage of their devotion to him. Someone is cheating on her husband. Someone else is cheating on their taxes. Someone is deep in debt and facing bankruptcy, foreclosure, the end of a relationship, or just embarrassment.

The other day a friend told me if everyone put their problems on the table to exchange with someone else, they would end up taking their own problems back.

At first glance it doesn’t seem likely. I would love the opportunity to exchange my problems with someone else. I don’t want them back. But after considering for a moment the potential problems of another…well, I guess I’m better off with what I have.

All this brings us back to my first assertion that our drama begins and ends with us. How is it possible when so much that goes on in our lives is outside our control? Few of us would choose to have our spouse cheat on us. We never asked for a loved one—or ourselves—to get cancer. Or for our adult child to lie to us to get what they want.

We can’t help most of the stuff that happens. However, we can help the way we react to it. I don’t want drama in my life. I hate it. I don’t like the affects of stress on my health, my complexion, my sleep patterns. I want to finish each day knowing I did the best I could with the last twenty-four hours and pray for God’s grace to help me handle what the next twenty-four will bring.

I don’t want to toss and turn and worry about who said what, and why did she say that, and how can I get through to so-and-so who is throwing his life away and why don’t people listen when the solution is so obvious.

There are others, though, who seem to relish the drama life brings. They get into fights and post pictures of the damage on social media. They broadcast family squabbles and then wonder why the other person isn’t rushing to them to make amends. They pick and pick at a scab and never figure out why it won’t heal.

For me, the key to living a drama free life is to not dive into a mess that often isn’t my mess. We can’t control so much of what goes on around us. But we can control the way we react to it. Much of the drama in our lives is drama we had no business picking up. We let ourselves be pulled into situations that are either none of our business or we can’t change anyway. Or the person really doesn’t want help; they just want someone to commiserate with their anger or indignation.

Keeping out of the fray is tough, especially when it involves someone we love who is being taken advantage of or going down a wrong path. Much of the time, the drama does directly affect us. We can choose to let it consume us and ruin our day or accept the way things are and deal with it in a rational, adult, drama-free manner.

Lair, Lair Pants (or Pantsuit) on Fire

Don’t you hate being lied to? I can’t think of anything I hate more. Yesterday someone from the “IRS” left a message telling me they were suing me and I needed to call immediately or suffer dire consequences. What made me madder than the message was the way the non-English speaking man answered the phone with; “IRS. How may I help you?”

I’m not a violent person by any means, but I really wanted to smack him when he said that as if I believed for one minute he was who he said he was. I played dumb until he asked for my name and number so he could access my case. In hindsight, I wish I had told him I was Lois Lerner and I was surprised he didn’t know me since I was the former director of his bureau. Instead I started yelling, demanding to know how he slept at night lying to people and taking advantage of vulnerable seniors and wasn’t he ashamed and on and on until I got tired and hung up.

I know he didn’t care, but I wanted to give him at least one unpleasant call for the day.

"These six things the LORD hates, yes, seven are an abomination to Him:
a proud look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that are swift in running to evil, a false witness who speaks lies, and one who sows discord among brethren." Proverbs 6

Nothing rankles me like dishonesty. Now that the Presidential election is upon us, we’re all getting a face full of it every day. I don’t expect politicians to be completely honest. I would be surprised if they were. I know they suffer from amnesia when confronted with the lie they told last week. They flip flop, backtrack, or conveniently “forget to tell the truth” like Archie Bunker said about Richard Nixon so many years ago. (Still funny)

But the blatant, unapologetic, in-your-face, even when the truth is irrefutable, form of lying is what really turns my stomach. Is it too much to ask that the leaders of our country at least tell part of the truth? Or after they’re caught in a lie, not say, “That’s not the way I remember it.” (How you remember it is irrelevant when we have you on tape telling your big whopper.)

"Honesty is not the best policy. It's the only policy." --Myles Munroe

I wonder if this election will be won by the candidate whose lies are the easiest for the American people to stomach. Or if every election has been won this way, and it’s gotten too glaringly obvious to ignore. The whole situation makes me sad. America used to be the nation of the world for all others to aspire to. We had a government every citizen of the world wanted to be a part of. Now, if they do, it’s only because of how easy it is to lie and cheat or bypass our laws and escape unscathed. By November I pray one of the candidates will prove themselves worthy of my vote. Or worthy of anyone's vote.

You Have Plenty of Time

Lately I’ve been writing a lot here about time management. Maybe because I’m so terrible at it. After a very slow workweek and more than enough time to work on some writing projects, connect with my Scentsy customers, as well as my usual summer gardening and putting up all the peaches my trees have produced this year, I still managed to waste much of my week. My peaches are still on the trees & I didn’t complete a single writing project.

I’ve also been convicted to amp up my Bible reading and study. I love words and writing & am seeking a way to implement those loves into my Bible study, but I haven’t done any of that either. The answer came to me today as I was driving to church. I don’t know if it was the Lord speaking or my own reminder that you make time for whatever is important to you. (Haven’t I said that already in another post?)

“You have plenty of time to do everything I’ve given you to do.”

If I’m not completing all the chores on my list, it’s either because I’ve given myself too much else to do that isn’t really necessary. Or, I’m wasting too much time doing absolutely nothing.

Women, and men too, maybe, often say yes to requests when we need the nerve to say, “No, I can’t.” We shouldn’t feel compelled to babysit every time someone asks unless we have an ironclad excuse. We don’t have to agree to clean the church on our one free weekend. Or help our sister move. Or mow the neighbor’s grass. Or make brownies for our nephew’s baseball team fundraiser because his mother’s been sick and it’s her turn and she hates to let everyone down…

None of these things are wrong. In fact, they are admirable and we could probably be more giving and charitable with our time and resources. That said, there are also times we need to say no. Just plain no without feeling guilty or caving at the last minute. As women, we hate to let anyone down so we agree to help out just this once. Then we’re stressed and overwhelmed and stretched too thin, and we lash out when Hubby simply asks, “What’s for dinner?”

Or maybe that’s just me.

Today, I really believe the Lord was reminding I have plenty of time to do the things He’s given me to do. Before I jump in with a “Yes.” to every request for my time, I need to check with Him first. Life isn’t predictable and we can’t schedule every moment. Things come up, and friends need our help. But He’s given me a story to write. He’s given me grandbabies to spoil. A yard to mow. Dogs to walk. A husband to love. Peaches to pick. Books to read. Neighbors to visit. Cool breezes to caress my cheek.

Heavenly Father, help me, this day, to prioritize. Not to waste a moment. Teach me to steward my time the same as I do every other gift you’ve freely given. Not to squander time on self-pity or anger or laziness or petty grievances or unfair judgments of others. Help me to love as You love and serve those You’ve put in my path to serve. Remind me not to take on more than You would have me to do. And to do all I do with love & worship for Your glory.

Big changes require little steps

“That’s what it takes to get what you want. Not big scary leaps once a year. It takes small, but irritating moves every single day.”
― Mel Robbins, Stop Saying You're Fine: Discover a More Powerful You

Who among us isn’t always looking for shortcuts. We want a faster, easier, simpler, more efficient way to do everything—whether getting to work or fixing dinner or paying our bills online. We want to save money, time, energy & effort. Anything that promises to help us reach our goals faster and easier, we’re all over it.

There’s no magic pill for success. Regardless of how hard you work or how lofty your goals or how much stands in the way of achieving them, the most likely obstacle to keep you from reaching them is YOU.

I have a friend who has been trying to lose weight and get into shape for as long as I’ve known her. She has tried every diet plan and pill you can imagine. She isn’t the only one. More money is spent on losing weight every year than nearly anything else. Like much of the rest of the world, my friend has spent the last twenty years in search of that one diet, that one discovery that will expose what has kept her from losing weight and keeping it off. There isn’t one. It isn’t her meal plan or eating schedule or exercise routine or lack of support from family. She is the only one standing in her way. The key to weight loss success—as well as the key to every other kind of success—is to keep doing little things every day and for the rest of her life. Get off the couch and move. Push away from the table before her belly is full. Eat more lean green foods than processed food. And so on and so on.

Writing that won’t sell diet books. It’s depressing. No one wants to hear it. We want an earth-shaking thing that will create all the changes we’re looking for in one fell swoop. That big thing doesn’t exist. Just little things we do over and over to get what we want. We are the only ones in the way of achieving our dreams. Until we learn to stop doing the little things that sabotage our progress, like sleeping in, wasting time on FaceBook, avoiding a part of the job we dread, or giving into distractions, we’ll never get what we want.

If you’re seriously looking to make a change in your life, start implementing little positive habits into your day. Make time for them. Do them regularly and religiously and stick with them even when you aren’t seeing results.

Remember potty training? Argh! Who wants to remember that? If your child was like mine it didn’t happen overnight. It was weeks, and maybe months, of tears and frustration—mostly on my part—and countless mad dashes to the bathroom and the little potty before you finally got it through the baby’s head this was the way it was supposed to work.

Like me, you probably got plenty of well-intentioned advice about how to make the process go smoother. Basically, though, the outcome wasn’t up to you. It was up to the little guy on the seat of honor staring up at you. We kept doing the same little things over and over—watching for subtle clues that somebody had to go, running up and down the hall with a squirming toddler, praising and clapping when things went well, and cleaning up messes when they didn’t. It wasn’t rocket science, and there was no rushing the process no matter how much we wanted to. Just repeating the same task over and over until potty independence was achieved.

Any goal worth achieving works the same way. We’ll get more advice than we want. Some will be good. Much will be a waste of time. But it all goes back to who’s in charge. YOU. Others can help and offer advice, but we’re the one standing in our own way. Cheering ourselves on when things go well and cleaning up messes when they don’t.

Making time to exercise when we don't have the time

I’ve said it. You’ve said it. We’ve all acted on it. We don’t have time to exercise. I’m sure, for you, just like for me, it’s true. We are crazy busy. Between work, kids, writing, errands, running my Scentsy business, housework, and quality time with Hubby…Good grief, I made myself tired just by creating this list.

How in the world are we supposed to eke another hour out of our day for exercise? The answer is, you won’t find the time. You must make the time. Create it. We always make time for what’s important. I spent an hour this morning on the phone with a friend. I have a lot to do today before I head out to work, but somehow I made the time in my schedule to talk to her because it was important to me. I have another friend in the hospital. Between work obligations today, I’ll make a detour to visit her. Not on my docket, but I’ll make the time.

In November I’m devoting three whole days to attend my son’s wedding out of state. Believe me, I don’t have an extra three days lying around. Still, it never occurred to me to tell him I’m too busy to come. Now, if you asked me to babysit your kids for three days I would immediately say I don’t have time. And I wouldn’t be exaggerating. But attending my son’s wedding…I’ll make the time.

We make time for what matters.

Exercise needs to matter. We all know the results of a sedentary lifestyle. Forget vanity—though, who am I kidding, that is a big consideration. What about getting out of a chair? I see people younger than me struggle to do that simple motion we all do several times a day. If getting out of a chair is a tough, how will we manage a flight of stairs or a long hallway or chasing butterflies with a child or walking the dog? Even if you aren’t training for a decathlon we have lives to live. I don’t want to be the grandma on the porch. I want to be the grandma in the yard chasing the butterflies or pushing a swing or skipping rocks across the creek. If I happen to still look good in a pair of Capris and cute strappy sandals, well, that’s just a bonus.

Don’t try to find the time. Make the time. Every day. Because it matters. You matter.

It’s not that hard to fit exercise into your day. My favorite way is while watching TV. You can get a heart pumping fifteen-minute workout between commercial breaks. Starting at one break, close the chip bag, get off the couch, and do 50 jumping jacks, 40 squats, 30 burpees, 20 pushups, and 10 lunges on each leg. By the start of the next commercial break you will have gone through this routine twice.

If that wasn’t enough for you, spend the next 15 minutes doing 100 crunches, 3 sets of 12 reps each of bicep curls, overhead presses, and tricep dips. You don't even need to use weights in the beginning. You can add or delete anything you choose and increase reps when you're ready. It’s your workout. Just keep your heart rate up and have fun. By the time your TV program is over, you’ve completed your workout and feel a lot better than if you had stayed on the couch munching Doritos.

As with any workout routine of any type or any intensity, consult your doctor first. Make it fun. Make it a priority. You’re worth it. Your future health is worth it. Your vanity is worth it. Your family and loved ones are worth it.

Comment below on your favorite or most ingenious ways you make time for exercise in your already crammed daily schedule.

I'm more important than you

It’s hard to celebrate the Lord’s Day when there is war and rioting in the streets. No matter your age, your race, your politics, where you live, or how much money you make, we’ve all been affected by the events of the last few months. And regardless of your politics or the side you’re on, it all boils down to selfishness.

We love ourselves and hate the other guy. We see our point of view and refuse to listen to what someone else has to say. We want what we want and couldn’t care less about who we hurt to get it.

All day long on the news I keep hearing people say, “They just want to do their job and go home to their families.” Do you think the people declaring war on other Americans care one whit about that? They don’t care about little children who had their parents stolen from them over the last few weeks. They don’t care about spouses and sisters and friends who will never see their loved ones again. They only care about their wants and everyone else can just…well, you know.

Sadly, the rest of us are not so different. We may not use guns or trucks filled with explosives to get our way. Our methods are much more subtle—manipulation, control, lies and innuendo. Yet it all boils down to the same thing, selfishness.

We believe our needs and wants are more important than anyone else’s. We lie and stab friends in the back and spread rumors and even pout to get our way. Whatever it takes to come out on top. The sad thing is we are never happy. Getting our way through selfish means never accomplishes our goals. Oh, we may get what we want for a moment. We may smirk and think we really put something over on them. Or, we deserve better and they had it coming anyway.

But then where are we? We are just as unhappy and bitter as we were before. Probably more so. Selfishness never brings happiness or satisfaction. It only breeds bitterness and self-righteousness and eventually a lonely life since we’ve alienated everyone we thought was important to us.

If only we could put another person’s needs above our own, if only we could see them the way Jesus sees them, if only we truly loved the way Jesus loves, it would never enter our minds to take someone else’s value or property or liberty or their life.

I pray we can see we hurt ourselves the most when we put our needs first. We lose so much and gain so little. Lord, forgive us for our hateful acts. Our selfish deeds. Our thoughtless hurting of someone else who you bled and died for. Open our eyes. Show us how you want us to love those around us. Show us how much happier we would be if we put our selfish deeds aside--or our snarky remarks and petty jealousies or catty posts on Facebook--and thought of someone else first for a change.

Motivation to Burn

At the first of the year I joined an exercise group on FaceBook to challenge and motivate each other as we worked toward our individual fitness goals. With the help of the group I lost 12 pounds in three months & didn't suffer nearly as much as I thought I would. Now we're seven months into 2016 and I see myself falling right back into my old, unhealthy habits.

Snacking before bed. Hitting the buffet line instead of making healthy, reasonable choices while dining out. Eating mindlessly instead of charting everything I put into my body. Falling off the wagon at the first sign of success is probably why most of us lose & gain the same twenty pounds over and over again over our lifetime.

While doing a little studying and soul searching, I found this article from 2012 that is still relevant today. At least it is for me. It's all about making healthy choices a routine in our lives...as routine as say, sleeping and breathing. It's how to stay motivated & stick with a plan. And most of all, to have fun.

As a bubbly instructor in one of my exercise routines loves to say, "If it's not fun you won't do it."

Truer words have never been spoken. Getting in shape, staying in shape & adopting a healthy lifestyle should be who we are, not something we do when we feel guilty or are preparing for a beach vacation or college reunion.

Check out the original post for the motivation to find a exercise routine you'll stick with.

Make a Dent where you are Sent

I really liked this statement I heard on the radio yesterday. “Make a dent where you are sent.” I can’t credit the comment since I don’t know who was talking and I lost the station before he finished making his point. But we can understand what he was getting at. Leave an impression. Let the world know you were here.

You probably know someone who never got to be what they wanted. Their dreams of a family or college degree or dream job never came to fruition. Maybe you’re that person. Maybe you feel like you’ve messed up royally and made mistakes that can’t be undone. You may ask; “How can God use me when I’m not where I was supposed to be at this point in my life?”

Isn’t technology amazing? Don’t you love those Google images where you can see the whole planet in real time? The images that zoom in on one continent, then a country, then a state or territory and finally your city, your neighborhood, your street, and all the way to your front door. Sitting on our own stoop it’s easy to forget the magnitude of those world images. We see our roof, our treetops, our sidewalk, our teeny, insignificant skyline, and they close us in. So do our problems.

Our eyes tend to see the worst in a situation. Our vision is very narrow. We can’t see down the road. We can’t imagine how our current rotten situation can ever be used for good.

We’ll never see our lives or our world the way God does. But it’s important to remember that he can. He is God. We are not. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. Those mistakes we made, those cruel words we hurled at a loved one, the decisions we wish we could remake—God can use it all to impact our world. We can’t imagine how, but he can and he will once we get out of the way.

Make a dent where you’re sent today. Don’t think what you do it too small or too unimportant. You can impact someone today. Leave an imprint that you were here.

Anna's Army

I spent my holiday weekend selling books at the Festival of the Bells in Hillsboro, Ohio. Nice festival close to my house and church so I was able to catch up with a lot of people I know and a lot of longtime readers. Always a good way to spend a long weekend. I also got to know Justin Reno of Anna’s Army. If you’re not from the area you have probably never heard of Anna’s Army. I didn’t know much myself except everyone in the county has an Anna’s Army bumper sticker on their car or wear Anna’s Army shirts to Kroger’s.

Justin was the only guy in our booth so the rest of us vendors took advantage of him, ie: asking him to move heavy tables or reach high stuff. Over the course of the weekend, his story and the story of Anna’s Army came out, as it does everywhere he goes.

Justin and his wife Andi lost their daughter, Anna, 8 years ago to Cystic Fibrosis when she was 8. Anna was diagnosed with CF at age 3 months. I was practically in tears every time Justin told someone part of her story. During a slow time between customers, I told him as much. He smiled and said that wasn’t why he shared his story. Sharing for him was therapeutic. Justin isn’t a writer so he wears his story on his arms. He got his first tattoo as therapy on the first anniversary of Anna’s death. After that, on each anniversary of her death and on her birthday in June, he would add another chapter to Anna’s story with another tattoo. Now her story goes around and up both arms, with each addition telling another chapter of the amazing life this little girl led.

In the beginning, the tattoos were meant to help Justin deal with his grief. It didn’t take long, though, before he realized they were serving a purpose he hadn’t seen coming. Strangers would come up to him and comment on the tattoos, whether to tell him they hated tattoos or they loved the artwork. In either case, Justin was able to begin a dialog about Anna and Cystic Fibrosis and how the tattoos helped him through his grief. Talking with these strangers has been the greatest therapy he never saw coming.

Justin and Andi created a non-profit charitable organization 10 years ago to raise awareness of CF and other chronic conditions. Since then, the charity has donated over $100,000 to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. Eight years after Anna’s death, the charity continues to raise money for those in the community suffering from chronic—and usually fatal—conditions The community had been so helpful to Anna and the Reno family, they want to give something back. In 2009 the Highland County Commissioners declared the 3rd Friday in April to be Anna’s Army Day from now on. Like Andi Reno always says: Together anything is possible.

Live a life of passion

It’s been said if you want to be happy for a year, win the Lottery. If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make a living doing something you love.

All this talk about living the dream and making a living doing what you love has made me think of my son’s story. I thought I would share it here and maybe encourage you to go after your dreams, no matter how far out of reach they may seem.

When my son was in preschool, he wanted to be a professional wrestler like nearly every other preschooler. As he got older his aspirations changed to professional ballplayer—either football or baseball, depending on which season we were in. Sadly, the poor thing took his athletic abilities after his mother and only made the team because our local school was so small, they didn’t cut anyone. If you showed up in cleats, you were on the team.

It wasn’t until high school when a friend of mine asked him to provide color commentary for broadcasts of our county schools' ballgames that he found his passion. For the first time, he was able to combine his brains with his love for sports. He thought, “I’ve got to figure out a way to do this for a living.”

Everyone knows it's highly unlikely to get a paying job doing something like that. ESPN wasn’t hiring precocious kids who loved ball.

He took his scholarships and enrolled in a traditional college. It didn’t take long, though, for him to realize this was not the path he wanted to take. Against everyone’s advice, he quit school and entered the Ohio School of Broadcasting, a non-accredited school that meant he lost all his scholarship money.

As his mother, I worried and listened to all my friends tell me he was making a huge mistake and I needed to step in and make him see the light, and did I want him living in my basement the rest of his life. I held my breath and prayed he was doing the right thing.

He soon got an internship for a local talk radio station. That eventually led to hosting a show on a local country music station where I only heard his voice during 10-second promo spots between programming. The job paid minimum wage so he cleaned floors at Kroger’s, worked the front desk at a discount motel chain, and worked a short time at an Amazon distribution center just to pay the rent while pursuing his dream.

Fast forward five years. Those little spots on the radio, working for peanuts and experience, led to a producer’s job in a major market. Now he interviews celebrities, athletes, and politicians for a living. He’s paid to attend sporting events and concerts. Last month his station even gave away tickets to attend a major sporting event with him as a prize to a lucky caller.

Whatever your dreams, there are ways to make them come true. Spoiler: It will take a ton of hard work and personal sacrifice. You will endure abuse and ridicule from friends and family who think you are wasting your time or making a huge mistake. The only question to ask yourself is: How bad do you want it?

Only you know the answer.