Take it Like a Man

Summer break is only two weeks old and everyone is already posting pics all over social media of the amazing things they’re doing. Everybody but me. So far my summer is going like every other season of the year. Work. Writing. Dinner. Dishes. Laundry. Repeat. I can’t help but wonder if summer is any different for those posting all the pics. Or are they faking it to convince themselves as much as to convince me?

Do you ever compare yourself to someone else? I think we all do. The other day my friend posted this pic on FaceBook.

She is a wonderful person—funny, loving, generous, beautiful inside and out—the best kind of friend. Even with all those things going for her, she sees herself in a negative light because of how she thinks she looks. Isn’t that sad? We are all created in God’s image and have something to offer the world. But it’s easy to forget when it seems everyone else is the perfect size, looks great in a swimsuit, has raised beautiful, successful children, and has never put her foot in her mouth.

I recently read a study that showed men spend three times as much time looking in the mirror as women. While women focus on what they believe are their negative qualities, men only see what they consider strengths.

How can men overlook their faults while women are unable to look past a simple flaw?
I have never heard my husband fret with his buddies over putting on a few pounds over the holidays. If one of them brings it up, it’s to brag about it. I heard one say as long as stores keep stocking bigger shirts he’ll eat whatever he wants.

Not women. If a friend loses weight, we belittle ourselves for not sticking to our diets. We might even secretly hope she’s been sick or depressed, and we aren’t complete failures that we couldn’t lose while she made it look so effortless.

It isn’t only our weight that makes us compare ourselves unfavorably to others. Have you ever told a joke that fell flat? When men do it, they don’t seem to notice. If they do, they shrug it off and tell the same joke 100 more times, thinking for sure it’ll be a hit this time. Not women. We punish ourselves for months and dread the memory of the time we embarrassed ourselves at a party. Even though in truth most every witness to our social faux pas doesn’t even remember it.

Maybe we give ourselves more credit than we deserve. When we embarrass ourselves or gain too much weight or don’t have vacations as interesting as someone else, we imagine the whole world is judging us. In truth, the world is too busy examining their own embarrassing moments and has forgotten all about ours.

As men seemed to have figured out, we women need to learn not to take ourselves too seriously. It’s a given we’re going to say dumb things. We’re going to walk out of a restroom with our skirt caught in our pantyhose—figuratively speaking I hope. Life happens. When it does, man up. Laugh off those less than stellar moments and don’t forget no one’s summer vacation is nearly as fun or angst free as it appears on social media.