What happened to my passion?

If you’re reading this blog you've probably noticed I haven’t been writing much lately. And not just here either. I put Ready, Set, Go! on hold in November so I could participate in NaNoWriMo, the annual National Novel Writing Month. December came with its usual challenges for making time to write. Now facing the New Year, I’m still having a hard time getting back into the habit of writing consistently…or even inconsistently.

I don’t really know why. I have two books very close to completion. I’m excited about both projects, but apparently not excited enough. It’s easy to get stuck in the rut of daily living. My day job with the Department of Commerce takes up a lot of my time and energy. Even worse for my writing production, it pays the bills and relieves me of the burden of making actual money writing.

If I only sell 36 books this month it really doesn’t matter in my finances. Nothing I own will get repossessed. If my free book promo only nets a few hundred downloads and causes no uptick in sales, it's not a big deal. I have my real job with a steady paycheck. The job that enables me to hire designers to create beautiful book covers or purchase ads from retailers to promote my giveaways is also cutting the throat of my writing career. I lack the motivation and intense incentive to keep writing as if my life—or at least my livelihood—depends on it.

I shouldn’t need the fear of starvation hanging over my head to inspire me to write. I’m a professional, right? So what’s the answer? Should I quit my job? Of course not. At least not yet. But I need to do something to get back to working consistently. I’ve always wanted to make a living from my writing, not from a job that’s little more than a paycheck and a thrift savings account. Apparently that passion is no longer strong enough or I would be working harder to achieve it.

How do I get from the image of writing books on a beach somewhere that have readers salivating for more to actually putting in the work required? The passion can only begin within me. If it’s not important enough, I won’t make it happen.

I’m either doing it or I’m not.

Only I can make it happen. Only I can fasten my rear to the chair and my fingers to the keyboard and write instead of vegging out in front of the TV night after night. I can read a thousand books on discipline and craft and productivity, but until I put what I read into practice, I risk becoming one of those people who looks back with regret at the books I never got around to writing.

The decision is with me. There are plenty of other things requiring my attention that keep me from writing. As well as a lot of things I waste my time and energy on that aren’t worth noting here. What about you? Are you struggling with a dream you’ve nearly given up on because you’ve lost your passion or excitement? Don’t give up. Make one move today that takes you closer to that dream. Join me in vowing not to live a mediocre life of regret. The passion will re-ignite as we move closer to the fire.