Stop Avoiding what You Want Most

Time is a commodity we all think we don't have enough of. However, we have the same amount as everyone else. I know authors with forty, fifty, a hundred, or even two hundred books on the market and I still have only a handful. In what areas am I failing while they are wildly successful?

Yes, I have a full-time job. Yes, I’m working to build a Scentsy business as well as carve out time to write. Yes, I have a family. But doesn't everyone? We all have obligations. We all have lives and people we want to spend time with. Somehow, though, successful writers manage to accomplish scads more in the same 24 hours a day than I accomplish. What am I doing wrong that I can't find time to work on my books? I can't find time to edit and polish and format and market and network and stay abreast of trends and techniques in the industry that other authors are utilizing to create their books.

Apparently they’ve learned something I still struggle with. These people know how to utilize every moment while I fritter away my day. I legitimize much of what eats up my time because it’s stuff that must be done; like walking the dog and washing dishes and scrubbing the inside of the refrigerator (okay, I don’t do that one very often) and sweeping the floors and running errands and folding laundry. Productive people do the same things. They have dogs to walk and litter boxes to clean out and breakfast to cook and kids to get on the bus. They do these things and still achieve their goals. Where am I missing it?

That's the question, isn't it? That's what each of us has to figure out if we want to accomplish anything. For me, the key is deciding how important my goals are. If something is important, I will give it priority. If I have a doctor’s appointment at 1:45, I give that appointment priority and won’t let anything keep me from getting there on time. If I have a conference call at 9:15, I set an alarm and leave a post-it note on the bathroom mirror to make sure I'm on the line at the designated time.

Often, the things we say we want to do are hard or scary or uncomfortable, so we let other things take precedence. We put them off until we barely even think about them anymore. Recently I read this quote.

“In any area of your life that you want to change, adopt this rule. Just do the things that you don’t want to do.”
― Mel Robbins, Stop Saying You're Fine: Discover a More Powerful You

If I want to lose weight, I need to say no to the cheesecake. Of course I don’t want to. I love cheesecake. But I should love to fit into the new dress for my reunion more. I might want a beautiful landscaped front yard, but I keep putting off the work. If I want a beautiful front yard badly enough, I will do the thing I don’t want to do, which is getting down on my hands and knees and moving dirt.

What area in your life do you want to change? Now, what is the thing you need to do to change it, even though you don’t want to? You owe it to yourself to do it anyway. You may find passing on the cheesecake wasn’t that hard, especially when you see the changes in your body. You may find the beautiful yard was worth the sacrifice of getting your hands dirty.

Figure out what you want to change in your life, and then pinpoint what you’re putting off doing. My challenge for you this week is to do that thing anyway, no matter how much you dread it. Just once. Then stick with it, and each subsequent time will get easier. And probably more rewarding. Few things worth having come easy, and easy things seldom get us what we want most.

You Have Plenty of Time

Lately I’ve been writing a lot here about time management. Maybe because I’m so terrible at it. After a very slow workweek and more than enough time to work on some writing projects, connect with my Scentsy customers, as well as my usual summer gardening and putting up all the peaches my trees have produced this year, I still managed to waste much of my week. My peaches are still on the trees & I didn’t complete a single writing project.

I’ve also been convicted to amp up my Bible reading and study. I love words and writing & am seeking a way to implement those loves into my Bible study, but I haven’t done any of that either. The answer came to me today as I was driving to church. I don’t know if it was the Lord speaking or my own reminder that you make time for whatever is important to you. (Haven’t I said that already in another post?)

“You have plenty of time to do everything I’ve given you to do.”

If I’m not completing all the chores on my list, it’s either because I’ve given myself too much else to do that isn’t really necessary. Or, I’m wasting too much time doing absolutely nothing.

Women, and men too, maybe, often say yes to requests when we need the nerve to say, “No, I can’t.” We shouldn’t feel compelled to babysit every time someone asks unless we have an ironclad excuse. We don’t have to agree to clean the church on our one free weekend. Or help our sister move. Or mow the neighbor’s grass. Or make brownies for our nephew’s baseball team fundraiser because his mother’s been sick and it’s her turn and she hates to let everyone down…

None of these things are wrong. In fact, they are admirable and we could probably be more giving and charitable with our time and resources. That said, there are also times we need to say no. Just plain no without feeling guilty or caving at the last minute. As women, we hate to let anyone down so we agree to help out just this once. Then we’re stressed and overwhelmed and stretched too thin, and we lash out when Hubby simply asks, “What’s for dinner?”

Or maybe that’s just me.

Today, I really believe the Lord was reminding I have plenty of time to do the things He’s given me to do. Before I jump in with a “Yes.” to every request for my time, I need to check with Him first. Life isn’t predictable and we can’t schedule every moment. Things come up, and friends need our help. But He’s given me a story to write. He’s given me grandbabies to spoil. A yard to mow. Dogs to walk. A husband to love. Peaches to pick. Books to read. Neighbors to visit. Cool breezes to caress my cheek.

Heavenly Father, help me, this day, to prioritize. Not to waste a moment. Teach me to steward my time the same as I do every other gift you’ve freely given. Not to squander time on self-pity or anger or laziness or petty grievances or unfair judgments of others. Help me to love as You love and serve those You’ve put in my path to serve. Remind me not to take on more than You would have me to do. And to do all I do with love & worship for Your glory.

Seize the Day

Know the true value of time; snatch, seize and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness...never put off till tomorrow what you can do today. - Lord Chesterfield

I have a friend who says he’s always wanted to write a book. Actually, just about every person I meet tells me this. Then they say they would, but they are too busy. They offer to tell me their idea and let me write it. Okay, that’s not going to happen. I have enough of my own ideas, thank you very much.

Even though my friend insists he doesn't have time to write, he apparently enjoys discussing his ideas with me. He is a busy man. He has a family and a full-time job and property that needs maintained. But he also watches sports on television every weekend. He is nearly addicted to computer games and loves surfing the Net for news coverage.

All of us—no matter how busy we are—find time for what’s important to us. If it matters enough, we'll carve the time from somewhere in our schedules. Writing is hard. It’s lonely and usually more work than it’s worth. It's easier and a lot more fun to sit around and talk about the art of writing and discuss plotlines and characters than to actually fasten our butts to the chair and put words on the page. We put it off. We say; “Someday”.

The problem is, most of us do not put enough value on our time. Ask any successful person. It’s our most valuable commodity. Think back a few years to what you knew you should do and really meant to get around to. Were you thinking about contributing more money to your 401K? Or contributing any money to a 401K? What if you had started ten years ago? Or twenty? Just think how sweet your portfolio would look today.

Did you entertain notions of beginning an exercise plan at the first of the year? Maybe you didn’t, thinking you’d start after the weather got warm enough to get outside to exercise. Now it’s nearly June, and you’re no closer to your fitness goals than you were last June. Did you dream of starting a home-based business? You knew the steps you needed to take, but it was so daunting and overwhelming, you never got around to it.

Have you put off cultivating relationships with loved ones? Maybe there is something standing between you and a family member. A past hurt or wrong that left you both bitter and disillusioned. Time is passing and you want to make amends, but you don’t know how. Or you don’t want to make the first move.

The older I get—and, boy, have I gotten older in the last few years—the more I realize time is so so short. It is truly precious. We must seize every moment and hang on. All too soon, we’ll be looking back, wondering why we aren’t closer to our goals. Closer to what truly matters. We’ll wish we had acted sooner. Saved more money. Asked forgiveness. Offered it when no one asked. Written that book. Planted a tree outside the kitchen window. Fallen in love. Inspired someone.

Make each day count. Stop wasting time & seize each day you’re given.