Big changes require little steps

“That’s what it takes to get what you want. Not big scary leaps once a year. It takes small, but irritating moves every single day.”
― Mel Robbins, Stop Saying You're Fine: Discover a More Powerful You

Who among us isn’t always looking for shortcuts. We want a faster, easier, simpler, more efficient way to do everything—whether getting to work or fixing dinner or paying our bills online. We want to save money, time, energy & effort. Anything that promises to help us reach our goals faster and easier, we’re all over it.

There’s no magic pill for success. Regardless of how hard you work or how lofty your goals or how much stands in the way of achieving them, the most likely obstacle to keep you from reaching them is YOU.

I have a friend who has been trying to lose weight and get into shape for as long as I’ve known her. She has tried every diet plan and pill you can imagine. She isn’t the only one. More money is spent on losing weight every year than nearly anything else. Like much of the rest of the world, my friend has spent the last twenty years in search of that one diet, that one discovery that will expose what has kept her from losing weight and keeping it off. There isn’t one. It isn’t her meal plan or eating schedule or exercise routine or lack of support from family. She is the only one standing in her way. The key to weight loss success—as well as the key to every other kind of success—is to keep doing little things every day and for the rest of her life. Get off the couch and move. Push away from the table before her belly is full. Eat more lean green foods than processed food. And so on and so on.

Writing that won’t sell diet books. It’s depressing. No one wants to hear it. We want an earth-shaking thing that will create all the changes we’re looking for in one fell swoop. That big thing doesn’t exist. Just little things we do over and over to get what we want. We are the only ones in the way of achieving our dreams. Until we learn to stop doing the little things that sabotage our progress, like sleeping in, wasting time on FaceBook, avoiding a part of the job we dread, or giving into distractions, we’ll never get what we want.

If you’re seriously looking to make a change in your life, start implementing little positive habits into your day. Make time for them. Do them regularly and religiously and stick with them even when you aren’t seeing results.

Remember potty training? Argh! Who wants to remember that? If your child was like mine it didn’t happen overnight. It was weeks, and maybe months, of tears and frustration—mostly on my part—and countless mad dashes to the bathroom and the little potty before you finally got it through the baby’s head this was the way it was supposed to work.

Like me, you probably got plenty of well-intentioned advice about how to make the process go smoother. Basically, though, the outcome wasn’t up to you. It was up to the little guy on the seat of honor staring up at you. We kept doing the same little things over and over—watching for subtle clues that somebody had to go, running up and down the hall with a squirming toddler, praising and clapping when things went well, and cleaning up messes when they didn’t. It wasn’t rocket science, and there was no rushing the process no matter how much we wanted to. Just repeating the same task over and over until potty independence was achieved.

Any goal worth achieving works the same way. We’ll get more advice than we want. Some will be good. Much will be a waste of time. But it all goes back to who’s in charge. YOU. Others can help and offer advice, but we’re the one standing in our own way. Cheering ourselves on when things go well and cleaning up messes when they don’t.